What have I learnt this week…… MMMM… I have learnt that I dont matter to anyone. Ok exceptions to apply but in general I dont matter. The ones close to me know I need help but the ones that can help say sorry we cant help you cause your not bad enough. Again the ones close to me know this is bull, that I try my hardest to be ok but I am never really ok. BUT because I try I am and refuse to let my illness beat me they cant do a thing.

So what do I do just give up trying so that I finally get the help I need or just give up all together cause I cant do this alone anymore but no one will help me.

I am damned if I do and damned if I dont, I cant win and slowly I am losing people that give a damn at all so soon I will be alone and whats the use in trying by yourself.

I hate the way I am I want to be different but no one will help me at all.

What is the use, what is the use at all???????????????????

Now I know how Zach feels and let me tell you it suxs big time…..